The realisation!!!

Pretty ironically, the end of Rima's successful weeding brought me to a strange realisation!!














I wanted to shift to Bangalore!!!















And, I was pretty sure!












I was literally "in love" with the Bangalore weather!!!












And, that was big enough a reason, for shifting places!! (I was always, wisely stupid!!!)











I spoke my thoughts before a jam-packed house, and my parents were surely unsure of, how to react!!!















Thoughts of their son going away were no less scary than seeing him "slaughtered" by the Lilliput "land mafia" brothers!!!













Now, the call was about deciding, which was less scary, an idea!!!
























Bengal to Bengaluru!!!






To be continued.....

The last walk!!!

A daughter's marriage is usually, the most over-rated, ultra dramatic accident, or incident, for any Indian household!!!















And, the clouds were way overcast, at Rima's just "past" address!!!












She would walk out for the last time (really? the last time? sure??) amidst tears!!







Chuck traditions.
















Rima didn't want the emotions to be overdone!








So, it was officially declared, "No tears. No drama!!"

















And, Rima walked away, silently weeping, wishing, she could be invisible for the time being.











Riya and Mashimani, and even Diya were squeezing out tears!!














All I managed was, blank stares!!!






To be continued.....

And it just happened!!!

Obviously, the wedding scheduled at nine, "timely" began at half-past nine!!!


















I tried real hard, to escape the intense light, for that's your greatest enemy, on a hangover!!!









My eyes were half burning, and rest aching, as I tried real hard to do some decent photography!!!




















Thank God, Arya Samaj weddings don't last long!!














It was actually over, even before I  was over, with my hangover!!!

To be continued.....

A fabulous follow through!!!

Just as the ritual ended, Riya stormed to the parlour, courtesy Shashank (and his car)!!!











Parlour?



Five in the morning??








I had begun doubting everybody's sanity, around me!!!












"Deep, click some nice pictures of your sister!" mom ordered, shortly after that.









"Mom!! It's five in the morning!!!



I'm off to sleep!!!"







I couldn't help exclaiming, helplessly!







"To hell, with your sleep!! Your sleep is more important than your sister's wedding???"












Rima's wedding had not yet begun, and, here, was mom, already turning on the heat, of yet another!!!









Like, every other place, it is  essentially important for Bengalis, to be late, even if that's your daughter's wedding! It's like, you are outcast, if, even accidentally, you are on time!!









And, Mesho(uncle) was a Bengali, at heart!!!







To be continued.....

Disaster at daybreak!!!

I was really, already, badly hating all these rituals, which were lesser of themselves, and, way more an extensive torture schedule!!!








I instantly decided and promised a couple of things to myself.











"One, I'm never marrying  a South Indian!!



Second, I'm not having a "social" marriage!!!"











Rima led the pack of doing the foolishest things on earth, and we followed, sheepishly!!! The blood rituals demanded equal torture of the bride, and her "innocent" brothers and sisters!!! Four in the morning, we sat, chewing "chura-dahi", because, that meant, or, rather ensured, we were following Rima's footsteps, to the "ultimate shit", very soon!!














Marriage, at least now, was looking an utter shit to me. Make anybody do this, he'll hate it no less!!!






God!!!






I had "nearly" got married !!!










I couldn't believe, I had just survived such a pathetic chaos!!!










The real circus was about to begin!







To be continued.....

And it begins!!!

I had just plunged into my world of dreams, but it seemed, reality was pulling me hard, back to its clenches!!








I tried harder, but, it pulled me, and jerked my dreams, by the hand!!















"Wake up Deep!!!" I tried hard, to open my reluctant eyelids, and the minimal light, it allowed, was enough to see, Rima was badly trying to wake me up!







It must have been serious!!












"What happened?


Is the wedding over??




Did I miss the entire wedding??"






I sat back, tensed, in a flash.









"No! Ritual time!!"


Rima grinned.













I looked up the wall clock.











"Not again!! Who wakes up, four in the morning, for a marriage?? I'm not even getting married!!!"





"Your sister is."






Rima's answer was badly stern.







To be continued.....

The wedding at hand!!!

Now, for the worst part, South Indian marriages happen at the break of dawn!!!










And, though, it wasn't a traditional South Indian wedding, it was rather, an Arya samaj weeding (the Bongs couldn't lose out to the Madrosis!!! Hence, the solution!!!). but even that didn't make things better!












The marriage was scheduled at nine, in the morning!!!
















"Who the hell gets married in the morning??"










Bengalis are used to attend marriages, in the death of the night!!! And, sometimes, even the bride or the groom dozes off!!!











"I am getting married in the morning. Discussion over. Now, go sleep, idiots!!"










Rima literally ordered, like the commander-in-chief, at war!!!










Moreover, it was already, well past midnight!!








To be continued.....

Cocktails and hangovers!!!

Half an hour later, the three Bong ladies walked out, quite much to our deep, relaxed sighs!!!













And before we could actually walk out, Rima had tripped twice on the sofa,














Riya laughed like she had been "possessed".















And Diya almost dozed off, on the couch!!






















That night, I realised the danger and the level of risk of guiding three drunk sisters, to a house, of sober, awake people, at two, in the night!!















We were literally struggling between hangovers and rituals, and it was already, the night, before the wedding!!









To be continued.....

And here comes the spice!!!

Rima headed for the washroom, to freshen up.









And as she walked to her destination, in an asymmetric fashion, Riya spoke!











" Rima is high!! I'll help her out!!!"










And, that was way crazy of her, who was already more than high, herself!!!











Some spice missing?





Indeed!!!










"Both of them are badly high!! I'll get them!!!"



Diya spoke!
















I'm sure, she wasn't even sure, whether, it was Bangalore, or, Bandra, midnight or midnoon!!!















Me, Shashank and Rahul - we simply stood there, sheepishly, staring at each other, expecting against hopes, that, things didn't turn worse!!!!







To be continued.....

And the inevitable drama!!!

Rahul was asked to propose to Rima for the "nth" time, and then, each spoke about the other.









Till now, things were decent.












A friend of Rima, who had climbed atop a table, to view things better, was bit "over" drunk, and at the same time, turned hyper excited.















She tripped, she fell, she broke her heels, and half-a-dozen glasses, along with some substantial amount of alcohol!!!

















Bangalore parties end by eleven, on weekdays, and one, on weekends!!











Crazy for a Calcutta guy, but true, at least for Bangaloreans!
















It was a weekend, but, it was already midnight. And, just as people started gathering themselves for a drive back, saving their asses, off Karnataka cops , the real drama unfolded!!!







To be continued.....

Reality checks and cheers!!!

Definitely, this had turned out the greatest reality check for my parents!









Diya, for them, was, still a "good girl", who not only hated alcohol, but also, people related to it!!




To an extent, that, she would even hate Bejan "Daru"wala!!!










Diya, was definitely miles ahead! She was screaming at the traffic, lazing at Marine Drive, with her third bottle of beer!!!








The cocktail party was a great respite for me! I got to see a better proportion of guys, as per the women out there!!




And, luckily befriended Shashank, Riya's "good friend", more because, I was Riya's "buddy  bro", and he was literally drooling!!!







But then, it was definitely good, to have a better proportion of guys, in the group!








Rima, and Rahul were expectedly too busy, and even finding it tough, to sip in, their drinks!!!








Me, Diya, Riya, and Shashank settled down, with drinks and smokes.














The party went on for quite a span of time, and things started getting wild!







To be continued.....

Between mom and Diya!!!

By late afternoon, we were done with the "haldi" rituals, and a session of the infamous Bengali overfeeding!!









Every one sneaked in, for a nap, to ensure a perfect shape, by evening!!!








Just when we were about to leave for party, mom got us to a screeching halt!!!














"Diya, is it necessary for you to go? It's a cocktail party!!!"



Diya had no clues of, how to react!!!










Mashimani(aunt), came to the rescue, quite much to our relief!!!








"Didi, she's a grown up! And, obviously she'll go to the cocktail party!!" Mashimani said.










Mom was way too shocked to react, and we slipped out, before she started, again!!





To be continued.....

Worse as it gets!!!

The worst feeling is, when you are the only guy, amongst your cousins!!










Because, every friend dropping in, would be, yet, another lady!











And, trust me, you don't feel a player, or, a stud!!






All you simply feel, is, lost!!!













Women, of varying lengths, breadths, and heights, and colours too!! (No, I'm not racist!!!).











I couldn't even fake, being cool, because, my face was pretty much showing off my utter confusion!!!













Diya arrived, the next afternoon. The evening was scheduled for a cocktail party!! Diya was surely a dad's daughter", when it came to timings!!!









But, there was quite a number of surprises in the bag, waiting to be launched, aptly!!






To be continued.....

Thus began the circus!!!

It was breakfast.








I had just sliced out the smallest crumb of bread, when a distant, elderly relative pulled out surprise!"











"Deep, is it?" he inquired, knowingly. So, badly hypocritic!!






"Yah!" I tried being precise.






"Oh! Look at him!! He's grown up!

He's become a man!!!"







What was he expecting?











In the twenty years, we hadn't met, I would have grown just a couple of months older??





Like, I would be a bigger baby, sipping Horlicks from a feeding bottle??







I hardly remembered him and most importantly I couldn't make out, what should I have grown up to, if not a man??






People can be so disastrous, sometimes!!













I simply felt like screaming!!

To be continued.....

House"full" insanity!!!

We had reached, three days prior to the marriage, and it was already "house"full!!!









Relatives, friends, family, and even some distantly far relatives!!









And, the chaos could have easily given the Lok Sabha members, a serious inferiority complex!








I was so hating it!!!









Rima was more than just busy.







Riya, the other cousin, was shutting her professional and family duties.








And Diya was yet to arrive!!!















And they were the closest, both in terms of age and sanity!!!














I just tried hard being invisible, in what was turning out to be a grand circus!!!












The next morning, I was literally left utterly speechless.







To be continued.....

The beginning!!!

"It's so expensive!!!" my mom's exclamation and question marks had aptly arrived!!









"In Calcutta, for a forty-minute drive, you pay Rs.150.






And here, 295!!!








It's so damn expensive!!!"



















My dad hadn't yet got over the utter shock of being denied "five" rupees!!!






Bengalis are bloody calculative!!















"Mom Bangalore isn't damn expensive. Calcutta is damn cheap!!!"






I couldn't help, oozing out the truth.












"Keep your nonsense to yourself!" Mom tried the best to prove her point.








I gave in, for I wasn't wanting another bloodbath of words!!!

















Bengali marriages are the perfect place to be, if you are looking for "serious" comedy!!! And I'm damn serious!!!





To be continued.....

The Bangalore battle!!!

Rima's marriage, it seemed, had skipped calendar dates, in no time, and was whistling in, fast!!!
















Half a dozen bags and suitcases, packed more with all the unnecessary stuff you can expect, on any family trip!!














Mom's over enthusiasm,  hypertension about every small thing, hinted me at realising, the disaster, that awaited Diya's marriage!!!



















Bangalore is, expectedly, way different from Calcutta!








And that showed off, right from the time we stepped in.























We boarded a cab, for the desired destination, and, after a forty-minute drive, we successfully reached, despite a couple of initial hiccups.

















The cab meter announced a bill of Rs.295.













My dad handed over three lame, sweaty notes of a hundred, expecting back the change.












"Thanks sir!" was all he got, before, he whistled away!!!







To be continued.....

"Dead" serious!!!

"Everything.



We don't even know what is your source of income.





When somebody asks, we can't answer them!





You've received threats from Paritosh and Palash!!





And, you don't  even seem to care!!







Why are you wasting yourself like this?






Use your potentials Deep!!" (Deep is my nickname!)
















"Mom, I'm 22!! It's too late to sit again for the medical entrance exams!!"











"Deep, I'm not joking.







Do whatever you want to.








We won't object.







Just, no real estate business.







We can't sleep like this every day.







With the fear, that, someday, we'll have to hear, what, no parent desires to hear!!!"






















Things were really serious!!!








"Dead" serious!!!





To be continued.....

Real shit begins!!!

She didn't disappoint.













"We need to talk."


She said, precisely.










I knew I was more than fucked!!














"What do you want?" mom questioned, straightaway, as soon as I positioned myself, on one of the spare sofas.











I looked at her blank, without the faintest clue of what she was referring to!!!













"You want to live like this forever?" She continued.








"Like what?"












"Real estate business?"














"What's wrong with that??"






To be continued.....

The resurrection!!!

The tension increased, and suddenly, I was blinded by an intense light.











Was I dead??









No!!!












Kaushik had pulled me out, alive!!!
















I was alive!!!












I hadn't drowned!!!

















I was too diffused to even react.


















I had nearly got myself killed!!!














The house was unusually silent. As I entered,  I saw mom and dad, seated at attention, on the sofa, and there wasn't any shitty daily soap going on, in the T.V.









Actually, the TV wasn't even on!!







I stared at mom, expecting her to drop the suspense, and speak up.





To be continued.....

So fucking dead!!!

I slapped, the water, and pulled my head, somehow, screaming, "Asshole! I 'm drowning! I'm drowning!
















And, I went down again!


















I was sure, I would die!!













I hadn't even married! I wanted to get married, have kids, grand kids, and die in peace!!








Not, struggling underwater!!
























I was dying!







I could feel it!










I didn't want to watch me dying!!













So, I decided to drop my eyelids, shut!!















I had half closed them, when I could feel a serious tension in my hair!!










 Something was definitely pulling me!!















"Death". I told myself.





To be continued.....

Drowned to doom!!!

I tried to walk back, with the water level seductively tickling my lips!!










I tripped. I fell.





No!!










My feet hadn't landed, even for a second!













I stumbled, and was engulfed, completely, in no time!!!












"Dude, you are drowning!!!" I woke up to my brain's sudden scream!!











I was drowning, in the middle of the lake!!!













 I desperately kicked and punched the water, got some air for a second, screamed "I am drowning!" and.....I was under water!











The nostrils had literally been overwatered, my eyes were burning, I was drinking water, like I had been badly thirsty for a year, and my heart.... My heart !!














Was it beating?? I couldn't feel it!! Fuck!! I'm drowning!

To be continued.....

Swim gone wrong!!!

Avinash was more than six feet tall, and had inhumanly long legs!!












And, he splashed the water real fast! He did something else too!










And that was complete shit!!














I was standing, or, rather, somehow floating! I had just let go of the pole, for, I was starting to feel confident!!














Now, the huge splash of Avinash had actually involved the fact, that, in the process, he had kicked me, though it was completely accidental!!

















I was not held to the pole, and, in no time, I could feel a displacement, and a rise in the water level!!!
















 My brain was saying, I was into shit, but, I was sure, it was nothing "serious"!!











I did the strongest possible thing!









To be continued.....

The swim song!!!

It was a sunny afternoon.










Me, Avinash, Sanket and Kaushik, were at the lake.







Kaushik was our trainer, as he was the only guy, who knew to swim!!










I was just imagining, how would he save us, if all the three started drowning, at the same time!!!



Shit!! Fucking scary!!!

















As usual, we were in neck-deep waters, holding onto bamboo poles, that had been there, since the day we first came.













Kaushik, as usual , was more of flaunting his swimming skills, and least of actually teaching us any swimming!!














Finally, when he done with his swimming circus, he came in, to coach us! We were taking turns, at struggling more and swimming less!!
















And, Avinash did, what was least expected of him!!!






To be continued.....